so i uploaded all the files via ftp
well i type this in the url

mysite.vnds.com/forum/install/install_install.php

cuz when i go into the install forum in the phpbb3 files install
is named install_install.php
and did the chmod to the config file
and the install menu still wont show up

extract all files from the downloaded folder. This being so when you open up the main folder, you see a bunch of different files and directories (rename the main folder to forum). Then after that, upload it, then type in mysite.vndv.com/forum (or the name you gave the main folder) this should bring you directly to the install page.

also, what is your site url?

so name the folder that says phpbb3 when i downloaded it to forum?

Yeah