three turtle
Three turtles came to a restaurant, to the three cakes. Things just the table, they found no money with.

Big Turtle said: I am the biggest, of course, do not go back and collect the money.

The turtle said: send a small turtle to the most appropriate.

Little Turtle said: I can go back and collect the money, but I go after, you who are not allowed to touch my cake! Large tortoise and the tortoise keen on the idea, little turtle left.

Because it depicts the empty, medium and large turtles own share of the cake will soon be finished. However, a small turtle delay disappeared. On the third day, medium and large turtle is hungry, invariably say: let 's share of the small turtles eat the strike.

While they were there to eat, next came the small voice of the turtle: "If you dare to touch my cake, I will not go back and collect the money up!"

Over and over again, a little baby turtle jumps out of a tall tree and fall to the ground, flailing his limbs around. Two birds were watching and the female bird says to the male bird...

"Honey, I think it's time to tell our baby he's adopted."

this was very funny

hello friends,

Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in.
The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family's Christmas tree. He is allowed entry to Heaven.
The second man offers a bow and some ribbon, from presents that were opened earlier that evening. He too is allowed entry to Heaven.
The third man reaches into his pocket and produces a pair of panties.
Confused at the man's gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do panties represent Christmas?"
The man replies, "Oh, they're Carol's."

Nice story, it really makes me feel happy!

The doctor took his patient into the room and said, “I have some good news and some bad news.”

The patient said, “Give me the good news.”

“They're going to name a disease after you.”

this was very funny :D:D:D

it was really very funny

funny，the turtle is so slow!

lol nice ..it made me laugh

ha ha that was very funny

Farts With Lumps
The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word " definitely " in a sentence.

Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"

The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny,"

To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely s**t my pants"

Did you hear about the blonde that...
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".

Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

Men Should Listen
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!!"

The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "BITCH!!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

hahaha slow turtle was so funny...

Ha ha... Nice Story. Reallly tears came from my eyes and i am still laughing. Thanx...

LMAO! Those are fantastic!

An american farmer is on a holiday to europe and he's
bragging to another hotel guest, also a farmer, about his property.
He's got more cattle, a bigger ranch, a bigger house, but he
only seems to bore the other farmer. Finally, he really tries to
impress him by saying: "When I take my car and drive all around
my ranch, it takes me a whole week!", to which te other one
replies: "Yes, I had a car like that once."

Hehehe, great joke, thanks for saving my friday

Great jokes also nice fun. Thanks for this funny sharing.